The Pros and Cons of Moving In with Your SO
Is it a smart idea to test the waters before diving in?
From an early age, it was drilled into our heads that boys and girls that live with each other are either blood-related or married. That’s just how our culture has worked and—to a degree—still works. But more and more younger-generation couples are experimenting by living with each other before they take that walk down the aisle.
Blame it on media or our easy and short reach to Western shores, where cohabitation is a norm. And while there is debate, each side has its own merits.
The pros of living in with your significant other
Learn everything about each other
The biggest point that comes across living with each other before marriage is that you actually get to know your SO. From what he does first thing in the morning, to how he likes his coffee (no, not his Starbucks order) and how often he brushes his teeth.
Form a real identity as a team
Living together will force you to work as a team. You’ll need to make decisions on how to handle your finances and who does the cleaning, the cooking and the meddling with pesky neighbors. As much as you might think you’re a unit now, there is so much more you both need to work on.
Your personal life will be tested
Missing your SO is a big part of any relationship—but this significantly decreases when you move in together. You’ll see them day in and day out and those butterflies will diminish because of it. You’ll also be seeing them at their worst, like when they’ve just dumped a deuce or their saliva is dried at the side of their mouth. You’ll see whether or not your passion for them is really all-encompassing.
The cons of living in with your significant other
It’s not a guarantee of commitment
You might think that living in together is the step before marriage, but it isn’t. Cohabitating without that binding contract gives you or your SO a clear way out when things get rough. Living in has been attributed to those who actually fear commitment; they get all the perks without actually being tied down.
There are other ways to test compatibility
If figuring out whether or not you’re fully compatible is what you’re after, there are other ways to test this out. Research suggests abstaining from intimate activities to test compatibility instead. There might be no better way to see whether or not you’re right for each other than removing that from the equation.
The numbers aren’t promising
Research suggests that those who cohabit before marriage actually run a higher risk of getting separated in the future by as much as 50 percent. Moreover, there are studies that also claim that couples who live with each other post higher numbers in terms of domestic violence and eventual single parenthood.
Ultimately, there is no one equation for every couple and there is always an exception to the rule. But whatever you decide to do, talk about it extensively and with a level head.